I know that I normally do Wednesday Wishes and Thankful Thursday, but this week I will not be doing them. Today is the last day of Shiva and I am dealing with lots of funeral related things, things related to his dad’s death, and some other stuff too.
I am trying to keep it together as much as possible, sometimes I just feel like I am going to explode! I just feel like I should bury myself someplace because of some of the stuff that is happening right now.
I am so fed up with a family member that I could scream, but it would not help the fact that she is self centered. Stress has become my best friend again, just when I was really getting to the point of being almost stress free. That seems like a life time ago though.
So many people have been so great to me personally and I just do not have the words to express how appreciative that I am. ( Yeah, I know me with out words, kinda ironic huh?) I feel so lost these days and so disconnected from everything.
I am hurting over Doug’s dad and my own dad at the same time. Grief is so solitary and when you have so many people around all the time it feels as if I am intruding on them with my sadness. I don’t know. I am having a difficult time dealing. You would not know it to look at me though, which is kind of the way I like it. My thoughts are my own until I share them with someone. When I share those thoughts, I am trusting that person to understand that there is a trust in my sharing because I am not easily trusting. Of anyone.
Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers for us.