Making Mistakes and Owning Up

So, yesterday was a massively bad day for me. Sadly I wish I had stayed in bed and hid under the covers, it probably would have been a far better day for me then.

In case, you are wondering, no I have not been to bed yet. I can’t get my brain to shut off and let me relax. See, I made a couple of mistakes yesterday, although one was not made exactly yesterday, but I found out about it yesterday. So, I figure that I will not be able to sleep until I do something about this.

Last month apparently I spaced out and wrote the rent check for $28 less than it should have been for. Now, I checked my checkbook to make sure I actually did this and I did. So, I am admitting this mistake. I am not sure why it happened and honestly, I can not remember writing the rent check last month, so… I fucked up. I admit it.

It will be fixed in the next day or two when I write the rent check for this month. I feel bad about it. I am not perfect and never have been, so sometimes mistakes happen. I will do my best to see that it does not happen again.

I also upset someone that I care about yesterday. I spaced out in the middle of our conversation and did not hear exactly what had been said, but it sounded like a question, so I answered said question because I did not want to admit that I spaced on the conversation. I tried to explain, but the damage has been done. I have been thinking about this all night and honestly, this is what is keeping me awake. I spent most of the night crying because I don’t know how to fix this and I want to. Badly.

I made a mistake by not listening to begin with and then by not asking what was said before answering. Sigh. I have such a migraine from all of this and I am not sure how much sleep I will get today. I hate it when people are mad at me. I hate that I feel like I can not fix this. Well, I am off to find something to do. Ciao.