Thinking About the Past, Looking to the Future

Facebook for me has at times been a surreal experience, mainly because of the fact that so many people that I have not seen or spoken to in multiple years are there and it is like an online high school reunion at times. Most of the memories are good, some even wonderful. Some not so much. It is not that I am not happy to see these people now and learn about them, it is more that in some cases I am rather embarrassed about who I once was when I think about it. Yes, the idea that I was a kid and I had no idea does come to mind, but honestly for me now, that is not at all acceptable. I guess that is why they call it growing up.

It is at times painful and hard, but it must be done. With all these memories sometimes so thick you can cut them with a knife, I have sometimes thought of the past and wished I could do some things again. They say that hindsight is 20/20 and of course that is very true. The past is the past and it can not be changed. As much as I wish that I could change some things and could have missed some things and even done some things I did not do. I can’t.

Having some time to get perspective it is not hard to realize that all the stuff in high school was just that, high school stuff. There comes a time when you have to put away childish things and move forward. As much as I did not want to do that, I have. I have learned more hard lessons and had some dreams crushed like glass under a heavy boot.

These days I am happy with simple things and not so concerned as to what others think. I have come a long way and still have some ways to go. I am not always happy, but I am working on it. I have loved and lost, but in some cases I am all the better for it. Yes, it is hard letting go of things, especially my past. It is time to let some things go. It is time to move on and finally look to the future. What ever happens today, well, it is what happens. I can not change the things I have done to people, but I can say I am sorry and mean it.