Well, today you get kind of a two – for – one deal with me. You get my Thankful Thursday entry and a second entry all in one today! First is the Thankful Thursday…
- I am thankful for God being in my life and working in me to become a better person.
- I am thankful to my oldest friend ( Aaron) who still loves me and still chooses to like me even at my worst and he has seen the worst, let me tell you! So, Thank you Aaron.
- I am thankful for my life even though sometimes I do not like what I am dealing with, I am thankful that I am able to deal with it.
- I am thankful that I am not hurt or sick. I am able to use my brain and still do many of the things that I love to do.
- I am thankful that I am able to forgive.
Okay, on to the second part of this entry. Yesterday morning I was watching Joyce Meyer and God told me to write a letter to my mother. My mother, who I have not spoken to in almost 5 years. So, I did. I basically wrote that I wanted to explain to her the reasons that I left.
More specifically the reasons that had to do with her, on why I left. I do understand that she will most likely not take it in the way it was written. I was not mean and I did not accuse, I just basically told her that I left because she was a very bitter person and that I could not be around that anymore because it was starting to affect me. I do understand that what she thinks and what she does with this letter is on her. I wrote it not in hate or to get back at her, but to point out to her that if she does not change it, it will affect my children and will hurt her more than it has already.
I honestly feel as though a weight has been lifted from my life after I wrote this. I am working on forgiving myself and people that I had perceived had hurt me. So, if you are one of those people expect an email sometime soon. I think that I got the one person who falls into that category already that reads this blog. It is not an easy thing to do and I am working on forgiving myself as well. That seems to be the hardest thing of all.
Okay, well, I am going to go. Ciao!
That's a wonderful thing to do for yourself. I know I was in that type of situation with my cousin (who was like a sister to me). She kept asking me to tell her (truthfully) what I thought about her and I tried to do it in a "sisterly" way - like, hey, you need to realize who you are and the things that you do to improve upon yourself kind of way... it didn't go over that way at all!
ReplyDeleteWe don't avoid each other, but we don't talk anymore either!