Getting Back To Normal, What Ever That Might Be

So, finally able to eat regular food again, which is nice. I am very over soup for a while. I am feeling better. Not great but better, which is good. This weekend was rough. Got an email from John (kids dad) in Florida. Was not looking forward to reading it, but he was decent. My son’s birthday is Sept. 1st and he was wondering what I was doing.

I emailed him back and told him what I had planned to do, but it will be late because I have been so sick. I guess better late than not at all. It has been rough, all I have done is sleep and read some. Here towards the end, it has been basically sleeping. The not being able to swallow thing really bothered me. It was hard to deal with.

I am able to be up and moving around a little bit now.  I am still really tired though and doing very little makes me tired. So I am trying to not over do it just yet. So back on the road to recovery it seems. Hopefully I will be back to normal by next week.

An Updates of Sorts…

Today I am feeling better than I have in a while. I can finally swallow again ( no jokes please, I know exactly what it sounds like). They eye leaking thing has stopped. I am not coughing as much as before.

I am feeling better and I am hungry!!! So, I am all kinds of happy because this is the first day I have felt this good. Hopefully this trend will continue. Well off to read the seventh book of Harry Potter.

This is Where I Am Today

This entry will probably be short and sweet because I am still sick. Not dead, but feels like that would be an alternative to this mess for sure. I have been reading mostly. I have not felt well and only wanted to chat with certain people. I am hoping to feel better by the end of the week. The nights are the worst for me though. I am sleeping a lot,which is good. Gotta go now, ciao!!

Memories of J-Land (AOL Journals)

Even though I am really sick, I could not let J-Land’s anniversary get by without some kind of entry. If you don’t know what I am talking about, today is the anniversary of AOL Journals or J-Land as we like to call it. Although it does not exist anymore, some of us like to commemorate one of the best places to journal and where most of us got our start journaling. We all have since moved on to other platforms or even stopped journaling all together, but we all remember where we started.

J-Land was fun and it is where I met most of my blog buddies. Some have become very good friends since then. Although we have a kind of support group on Facebook, to me it is not the same. I miss the AOL journals. I have since moved on to Blogger like so many of us have/did. While I am still journaling here and in a private journal, it is not the same really. So, Happy anniversary J-Land, I for one miss you very much. 

Memorial

Today is Julie’s mom’s memorial and I could not make it actually for a couple of reasons, but the most pressing one is that I am sick. Really sick. Sigh. I feel bad about not being there and all but I would not go even if I lived in Florida in this condition anyway. I still miss Cindy a lot and think about her everyday.

In a way, this was like my own mother dying, only more emotional for me. Julie and I talked about her mom when we spoke and it was nice to laugh about some of the silly stuff that she and I did together back in the day.

I was talking to another person who knew me back in the day and was around when Julie and I were always together. He was remembering what it was like to be around us together and reminded me that Julie and I are like sisters. Which reminded me that people would always ask if we were actually sisters. That always made us laugh. We are not, but back then, everyone thought we were. We would finish each other’s sentences and everything.

Julie’s mom was an amazing photographer and she took my wedding photos. They were wonderful and I was grateful. She also took a couple of photos that I will add here. Of course, these are high school photos, so ….. They are old. LOL.

Harry Potter & Sick

So, I ordered all the Harry Potter books (yeah, I know I am a nerd). I have already read the first one and more than half way through the second one. I have read them all but the last one before, but I wanted to re read before I start watching the last 3 movies. As a friend recently said to me ‘the books are always better than the movies’ and he was right. Although honestly I have been trying to get him to see that for years!! Finally a convert!

I am also sick now. Ugh. I hate being sick and yes, I am hydrating and all of that. I am having soup for dinner tonight because honestly I don’t think my throat can take much more than that. Sigh. I guess that this is what I get for not sleeping like I should. But the nightmares are not good lately so I have been sleeping little again. Double sigh.

Good thing I am not in school right now because this would so totally suck if I was. I took some time off I am returning in October so don’t freak out or anything. I needed a break. It is nice to be able to read for fun once again instead of all the psychology text books and stuff. I am looking forward to getting back into school and all though.

So many people have called and texted me to see if I was okay. Although I freaked a friend out when I called him today because apparently I sounded like I was crying. I was not. My throat is not good. So he was all OMG what is wrong?!?!? Which made me feel so good. Thanks to all my friends who have asked about me today, I appreciate it.

Today is Johnny’s birthday. I know. Happy birthday!! Muah. He is a bit older than me. I think that everyone’s birthday should be special. So, as limited as I am, I tried to make his special for him.

Well, back to my Harry Potter book now. Hopefully feeling better tomorrow. Ciao.

Self Truths

Everyone eventually discovers their own self truths. Not everyone will go looking for them and sooner or later they will smack you in the face and you will have to deal with them. On the same level, everyone realizes when they have to take responsibility for their own life. Now, admittedly not everyone will actually take responsibility for their own life.

I personally realized that I had to take responsibility for my own life after I got divorced at 19. Which made me different than most of my friends of the same age. I had been through some major stuff and had come out on the other side. The only thing different, was I was no longer a kid. So much bad stuff in my life and ugliness, I realized that I could not really expect anyone else to take responsibility for my bad choices, starting with my ex husband.

It is not easy being responsible for your own life. I make bad choices and I have to deal with them. I have had some issues here and there with choices I have made and now I am smarter about the choices I make. I am more picky about who spends time in my world. I no longer let just anyone in and I am all the better for it.

That was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn, that not all people who want to be in your life should be in your life. If someone wants to be in your life, they will make choices, time, and do things to show you they want to be there. Sometimes, I would let people into my life who did not show me that they wanted to be there. I just allowed them in and they created havoc and left my life in shambles a lot of the time.

I got smart eventually. Now a days, you have to prove that you want into my life before you are invited, kind of like an initiation into a really cool club. You have to pass the test before you are a member and not everyone passes the test. Those people you have to be willing to let go when they fail. That is the hardest part in my opinion. There will be some people  that you really want in your life and they will fail the test. You have to let them go, they might be back and when they come back they may pass that test. If they don’t come back, well, maybe it was better that way.